Odd title, I know, but you'll understand more as you read.
Tuesday morning I woke up and felt the strong need to pray for pre-teen girl, we'll call her Susan. I had been over to Susan's house Monday night to watch her and her younger siblings while her parents went out on a date. Susan's struggling through the need to have "things" and the fact that those "things" bring her happiness. The temporary things of this world have caught her eye and she's seeking them for her joy and satisfaction in life and it's hard to watch. It's hard for me because I see a girl with influence who could make such an impact for Christ if she'll only trust in Him to fill her with joy.
Throughout the morning Susan was on my heart, then I get a call from my sister and brother telling me that I need to pray for Jonathan and a friend of his. That's it, no explanation, no specifics, just the fact that I needed to pray. The urgency of the situation suddenly overcame me so I closed the door to my office, got down on my knees and started fervently praying for my brother. I continued in this manner all day. As the situation would come back to mind or I would become fearful of what circumstances caused this sudden plea for prayer, I would drop down on my knees praying for strength and courage for all parties involved in the situation, including myself. I had to keep reminding myself that God has not given me a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power and love and self-discipline and I should not be afraid because He's got it under control.
At 8pm that night I finally heard the cause for my prayers. Due to the delicateness of the situation, I can't share the details but it knocked the wind out of me. I had not been supportive of Jonathan in this particular situation, I felt like my brother and I were in this constant struggle because, in my mind, he wouldn't see reason. God definitely humbled me and my judgmental heart Tuesday evening. The situation was partially what I had feared, but hadn't had confirmed. It reminded me of all the hurt and pain that my friends and my siblings friends could be hiding; the secrets that their pride and fear of "what if's" does not allow to be shared. It brought with it an urgency and renewal to be Christs hand's and feet to a hurting world; to be His comforting arms embracing each broken and hurting person that needs Christ's love more than anything.
As if I needed more to contemplate this week, the fact that I was blind-sided this holiday season shook me out of the American "Christmas Spirit". As I sat in my apartment last night thinking of ways to show God's love to these two people a night long ago abruptly came back to mind. In a cave, on a cold night, on the outskirts of a small town, God Himself breathed his first breath of air. There were no comforts, no nurses, no doctors, no bed, no diapers, no medicine for Mary, no money from Joseph, and no room for them in the Inn. They had sheep. They had smelly, stinky sheep. They were likely surrounded by straw and manure. God as an infant was completely dependent on a young teenage peasant girl for everything. As the story flooded my mind I was reminded me of how much God loves the world and how much He sacrificed to display that unconditional love.
It brought me back to why I celebrate this season. It's not the fact that it gets cold outside, I can finally wear my winter wardrobe. It's not because I can drink hot drinks and sit by a fire. It's not because neighborhoods become friendly and colorful with the twinkle of Christmas lights. It's not that my family comes together. It's not because I get time off work, or gifts, or an abundance of cookies, food, and free holiday performances. I don't get a warm cozy feeling because I simply like this time of year. Though all that is a part of my Christmas season each year, and though yes, I do enjoy it...all of it would be meaningless without Christ. I love the holiday season because my cup seems to continually overflow with joy.
That joy swept over me last night as I was working through a plan of action and just beginning to feel the weight of the task ahead. When the possibilities began to seem unreachable, I was reminded of what God sacrificed when He reached out to this lost and hurting world. God's love and power is enough. Though the road ahead won't be an easy one I'm going to face it head on, because I know I'm fighting on the right side.
I haven't been able to stop thinking about either of these situations. There are two hurting and confused people right here within my reach and I need to take action. Prayer would be greatly appreciated for both of these situation and for me as I seek how to implement what God lays on my heart.
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