You know those car commercials for some insurance company that say "life comes at you fast"? That's how I felt this weekend because it was CRAZY!! Random side note: I catered an event for the President of Mexico on Saturday night. Yep, how cool is that?!? I met him, served him dinner, and spoke the very little Spanish I knew...CRAZY!!
Okay, onto the point of this blog: So sometimes when my life feels like it's out of control it unfolds in a way that stresses me out. That happens because I let things build up inside of me. Rather than making time to sort through my thoughts and emotions, when "life comes at me fast" I just stuff thoughts and feelings away and keep running. Eventually, I explode. Thankfully that didn't happen this weekend, but I came close.
Sunday I cleaned my apartment, it was in a very sorry state. One of the things I discovered about myself in college is that my living area gets messy when life feels messy or out of control. I can only stand the mess for so long, then it has to get cleaned. So, I cleaned my apartment, and as is tradition now, while cleaning, I sorted through why life felt out of control. It's such a good, deep cleanse of my thoughts and emotions. Because as I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing that mark off my floor, I'm also talking to God and letting Him scrub away the stain I've ignored in my life. As God and I talked and worked through things, I often found myself taking a short break to write thoughts down. Very quickly, however, I would get back to work, knowing there was still more to do. I took my time cleaning. I was in no hurry and I knew I needed to process what was going on. There were some "not-so-fun" times when God revealed some "gunk" in my life and I just cringed. Wondering why I hadn't seen that before, a little ashamed of my neglect.
The cleaner my apartment became, the less complicated and messy life seemed. Amazing the change that occurred when I took the time to work through the "gunk" rather than continually walk around it. As I got ready to go to my parent's home I took one last look around my apartment, to see if I missed anything. While at the same time, taking another look inside myself to make sure nothing else needed to be addressed. As I glanced around an amazing peace just settled in me and I was so thankful for the new perspective.
Sometimes, it just takes time to work through the gunk in life. Though at times the cleaning process can be time consuming and painful, it's always worth it in the end.
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