World Mandate 2008

This weekend I attended a annual conference in Waco, TX called World Mandate. My first time at World Mandate was last year and God got ahold of me and changed my life. You can read previous blogs about it.

This year, the conference was held at Baylor University. There's something powerful about being in a room with 3,100 other people who are seeking God and worshipping Him. During the hour of worship I could sit, stand, jump, dance, raise my hands, get on my knees, scream and shout, etc. to worship the King, my heavenly Father. I love that freedom of expression.

This year I experienced a new level in my relationship with Jesus Christ. Saturday night, with a broken heart I wrote out this prayer:

Lord, my heart breaks when I think about the nations.

I'm blinded by tears from the pain and the suffering that is in this world.

There is a deep groaning in me for people to come to know You.

Here I am Lord, send me.

To the ends of the earth, to my next door neighbor, wherever YOU need me.

Lord, search me and know my heart.

I'm Yours, through the good times and the bad,

through the sunshine and the rain,

through the dessert and the cool waters.

You have set me apart for Your glory, use me as You will.

I'm here, and I'm willing.

I don't want to be lukewarm.

I don't want to be content.

I want to be a mighty vessel for You, a blessing to the nations of the world.

I'm broken Lord.

My heart is breaking for Your children to know You.

For those in bondage, chained to things of the world.

Lord, I want Your freedom for them.

I want Your joy, Your peace, Your love to fill them.

I desire for them to receive Your healing, Your restoration.

I want them to live a life of liberty, a life in adoration of You.

USE ME to proclaim Your truth.

It's the cry of my heart to follow You; wherever You lead.

I want to be a fool for You.

SEND ME!

After I wrote out this prayer, I crumbled onto my knees and began to sob before the Lord. I was hurting for people of the world who have no idea who Jesus is; ready to leave everything behind and jump on a plane; questioning why I was still in the states; beginning to wonder if I had made the right decision to stay. Suddenly, I began to laugh. In the midst of my mourning a peace filled my heart and joy washed over me. What a sight I must have been, red-eyes, tear stained cheeks, snot all over my sleeves...I went from crying for a good 15 minutes to laughing uncontrollably. All the questions and "what-ifs" disappeared and I knew that my time to go would come. I'm in the states for this time of life, and I'm going to learn and grow while I'm here while looking forward to what God has in store for my future.